One day when I was biting into a delicious buffalo wing, I thought to myself… ‘buffaloes don’t have wings, what part am I eating?’ Then I told myself ‘its better I don’t know.’ Then I told myself, quite condescendingly…’I was just curious.’ At this point much of the restaurant was staring at me, so I got up and left…without paying. I guess the morale of the story is crazy people eat free.
I was watching an Earth Week episode of 30 rock and it made me think about an experience I had. An experience of America, a Great America. After spending a thrilling day in this Great America, the day had come to a close and I was asked by my mother to dump out an open soda can. While many so called ‘great’ lands would tolerate such an act, it does not fly in the great place of America, the Great America. As I walked a few paces towards a chain-link fence at the end of the parking lot and begin pouring out the open soda, I had a moment of enlightenment, when a bright light was shone in my eye. In the Great America that we all love apparently this act is not tolerated as a police officer had me put my hands on my head. This would not be the Great place of America if there was not guns involved. I was sat down on a pile of lumber, surrounded by police vehicles, with the officers pointing shotguns at me. Apparently they don’t tolerate the dumping of liquids in the Great America. Wouldn’t all of America be so great if we protected our land this vigilantly…
So remember if you are dumping where you shouldn’t be, littering, or description fitting in the Great America, you may find yourself at the wrong end of a shotgun.
